Dawn Nigeria! All make-up is now gone. There are wrinkles on the brow. Brief tears dry midway up the edges of the nostril, forming the tiger's ruthless eye shadow. The smile has turned to a smile, the cheers are swallowed up by jeers, and the laughter has ceased, seized by weeping and gnashing of tooth throughout the land. The catastrophe is whole.
Now the wealthy are crying too. Those that don’t cry are shivering. As a result of nowhere is secure; palaces or huts. No person laughs; kings or paupers. The US greenback is seized by the ghost of Joseph's dream and is now swallowing the naira. One greenback, only one greenback, now consumes one thousand 5 hundred naira. Èèmọ̀ wọ̀lú!
The nation is bitter. Starvation is raining. Impoverishment is pollination. Dying guidelines. Bola Tinubu, the person who assured the residents by saying: “Ẹ lọ f'ọkàn balẹ̀”, appears misplaced. The Asiwaju known as BAT additionally stated, “Let the poor breathe,” however the air has ceased. The poor can’t inhale, the wealthy can’t exhale. Yoruba kings have grow to be chickens in a pitch-black cage, and the Fulani cobra curls up in a nook and eats them one after the other – after its common feast for the folks. The bat of the night time has misplaced its voice.
However the objective of this text is to not paint our nation in unhappy colours. It’s to make you snigger and overlook the distress that plagues our beloved nation – even when solely briefly. The expression “Ọ̀rọ̀ burúkú t'ohun tẹ̀rín” signifies the cross with the title Bittersweet. In his regalia, the skeleton has to endure his fart, he doesn't dare take off his masks. Forbidden by the gods! The Abami Eda – Simply Anikulapo – known as it Shake And Smiling.
Think about you purchased a plate of rice, beans, greens and hen. Iya Ramota, the meals vendor, tells you to go dwelling and wait in your order. At dwelling you waited all day, and Iya Ramo didn't present up. At midnight she reveals up with a giant plate and a toothpick in her palms. She picks a grain of rice with the toothpick and places it in your mouth. She additionally remembers to place a bean grain in it earlier than she leaves with the meals. You leap up and shout Up Iya Ramo!
Isn't this what you do whenever you say “Up NEPA!” after being ripped off by the Energy Holding Firm of Nigeria – when you ought to be shouting “wahala, wahala, wahala” – with the voice of that annoying musician in Sango, Ogun State, whose jokes overflow from a conveyable suitcase? Isn't that so? tremble And smile?
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest phrase within the English dictionary. You’ll be able to rely what number of letters it has, good luck. However don't attempt to pronounce it, please. I don't need to be held answerable for lacking tooth, biko. Don't say I didn't warn you oh, ehn-ehn, as a result of Nigeria is now a rustic the place a bundle of unadulterated antibiotics prices between N45,000 and N60,000, whereas the minimal wage of over 104 million residents stays N30,000, in accordance with World Financial institution figures.
Pneumonoultramicroscopic silicovolcanoconiosis is a fibrotic lung illness brought on whenever you inhale chemical mud corresponding to silica, coal mud or asbestos. Sure, asbestos! Asbestos is a possible killer that shouldn’t be in-built developed nations.
Silicosis is one other title for pneumonultramicroscopic silicovolcanoconiosis. Yet one more synonym for it’s 'black lung'. It is usually known as pneumoconiosis. After I contemplate the totally different names of the illness, I see the developed world working and researching the simplified variations, whereas Nigeria, the black man's h(r)op, smokes on a keg of gunpowder.
Rising up, I listened to the candy voice of King Sunny Ade singing “Ilé o labọ sinmi oko…”, a tune he did about his journey to London, praising the significance of dwelling over the farm. Kennery King, Orlando Owoh, additionally sang a tune, “Ero ki yeye mi”, in reward of dwelling. Earlier than the songs of KSA and Orlando, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey had sung a tune in regards to the significance of dwelling.
House is a refuge. It’s a palisade to depart and return to after toiling within the fields. A few years in the past, Nigerians within the diaspora regarded Nigeria as their dwelling, and their overseas residences as farms, as a result of dwelling makes you’re feeling secure, beloved and needed. The reverse is now the case. Nigeria has modified eye (farm), whereas overseas residences have grow to be properties.
About 700 years in the past, Africa was invaded by the West for slaves. About 500 years later, slavery was abolished and a brand new type of slavery started, known as colonization. Though Nigeria gained independence from British colonial rule in 1960, the dominant affect of the British and America over the nation continues to be robust, as a consequence of corruption and misrule by Nigerian rulers.
Nigeria's former slave masters have lengthy since left and the nation has been plundered. It’s the Nigerians themselves who are actually begging to grow to be slaves in overseas lands. They threat lives and limbs and conceal in planes and ships as a result of the nation not feels comfy. What could be Nigerian kids taken or born overseas? The place would they name dwelling? Nigeria or overseas nations?
Final week, I shook my head after I realized {that a} pal of mine, in an try and erase his household's connection to a sure Yoruba river, had modified his title to replicate his Christian faith. However Jesus Christ by no means instructed any of His disciples to alter their household title as a result of it mirrored their pagan historical past.
Two days in the past, Madison Academy in Alabama, USA, introduced the return of Mustang Mud Run 5K and known as on members to order their spots. The announcement reads: “Put together to have enjoyable and check your expertise on the Mud Run in North Alabama. Positioned on the campus of Madison Academy, the impediment course challenges members with 18-22 obstacles alongside and thru Indian Creek and the adjoining forest areas. The family-friendly, enjoyable mud run is open to everybody aged 12 and over. Runners are anticipated to slide, slide, climb, leap, slog and swing their option to a enjoyable end.”
If this occasion originated in Nigeria, many fanatics who’ve made pastors and imams their gods would say that the game belongs to the satan, forgetting that they themselves got here from the mud! They might solid and bind and converse with tongues.
The fanatics, their preachers and imams won’t pray hail and brimstone on the political management that has refused to extradite felony agent Abba Kyari to the US for trial for alleged involvement in wire fraud. Whereas Kyari was suspended for involvement in wire fraud, he was caught on video negotiating the discharge of 25 kg of cocaine for $61,000. He stays a member of the Nigeria Police Pressure up to now and earns a wage.
It's humorous how we run these sorts of unjust nations and nonetheless anticipate birds to chirp like birds and rats to squeak like rats. Let's not see what Paul stated. Apostle Paul says that such an expectation is a mirage.
So I hissed when Fuji singer Wasiu Ayinde appealed to President Tinubu in a viral video, telling him that Nigerians tremble. If the president doesn't know by now that Nigerians live within the worst of instances, and it might take a bard to attract his consideration to it, it's time to part out the nation and provides it again to Britain or America for colonization. However I would favor the Chinese language. I like their language.